When I’m feeling down…
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007 ~ 11:10 pm
I try on clothes. Maybe it’s a girl thing, I’m not sure but once in a while when I feel down in the dumps I raid my closet. I do this because I know tomorrow I’ll likely decide that I don’t have a single thing that I want to wear and unfortunately garbage bags are unacceptable work attire.
Usually I’m pretty confident in how I look. I’ve accepted my size quite a while ago but every now and then I decide I should not leave the house because I’m fat. I know that this is ridiculous but it happens from time to time.
So I go through my closet and systematically try on outfits. I try on my good ole standbys and toss them aside thinking that people have already seen me wear this outfit one too many times. Then comes the fun and challenging part, putting together outfits I haven’t tried before.
Sometimes, I ask Gary’s opinion and usually he tells me I look great until I point out the obvious flaw in the outfit and then he agrees with me. Now I just spare him the stress of trying to figure out if I really like what I’m asking him about or if it’s a trick questions that will leave me snarling at him when he tells me I look pretty. He’s a good guy and doesn’t deserve these types of double edged questions.
It’s funny how people fall into clothing patterns. You find a few outfits that work, and you wear them…quite often. It’s quick, easy and takes very little thought in the morning when you get dressed. So maybe these down times really have a silver lining. I go through drawers and my closet and realize that I have shirts and skirts I’ve hardly ever worn. Why? Who knows they just sort of fell to the wayside.
Tonight, I have successfully found three new outfits that I hope I’ll like tomorrow morning when I get up to go to work. It’s never a done deal until I leave the house in the morning. If I don’t like them I can always grab a standby outfit but then I’ll feel like a failure tomorrow.
I wonder if I’m a complicated girl trying to come to terms with her body image now that the hot weather is here and skimpier outfits are on display or if I’m just really shallow and want to believe that a plus sized woman can feel beautiful.
