There are days when I really wish I could be a heartless bitch. I’m tired of feeling like I am constantly drowning in the vomit that someone else’s life has spewed. I don’t want to fix everyone, I don’t want to care. Yes, that’s right, I want to be a selfish asshole! Just for one minute. Damn it! I want to enjoy the life that has finally started coming together for me. Is that so wrong? Of course it is. I should not be thinking such blasphemous thoughts. Even when I do, if only for a brief moment, I feel sick to my stomach and instant regret. How could I even entertain the notion of turning my back on someone I love? Despite my desire to live in a perfect world, the reality is shattered when I open my eyes. I will be there through all the screaming, the pain and the abuse. I will listen when they need to talk. Comfort them when they cry. Support them when they get professional help. Rearrange my life in order to help them start on the path they deserve. I just wanted to be a selfish bitch for a moment before I started the journey.
